Monday, October 1, 2012

Children's day.

So, Matthew went to infant care yesterday. Ironic isnt it? Started my son with infant care on Children's day.

He is currently going thru 3 days of orientation, which means he stays there for 3 hours each day for 3 days to observe and be familiarized to the environment instead of attending the full day program right away. I suspect the orientation is designed in such a way not for the kids, but for the parents. He is my addiction so i am hoping these 3 days will help me cope with my withdrawal symptoms and stop the urge of wanting to bring him home every few minutes.

Yesterday was hard. I was trying to brace myself while we walked 2 blocks to school, thinking "Damn it, Carina! You better not cry later. This is all for the greater good,". We got there and the teachers welcomed him ( i was also glad that i went to the school a couple of times before just to get to know the teachers). I handed him over to one of the teachers, shared with them on his routines/habits, played with him for a bit and  FORCED myself to leave. As soon as i reached home, i broke into pieces. Called my husband and did the ugly CRY SOB. Kept saying " I have abandoned Matthew!" and sobbed some more. So much for trying to hold myself together.

He was just waking up from a nap when i picked him up 3 hours later. To my relief, Matthew gave me tons of smiles when he saw me. I think thats his way of consoling and reassuring me that he was fine. He came home and went about his day as normal.

Chris keeps suggesting that i venture out and spend time away from the empty house. I think i might do just that to maintain my sanity.

Spa, anyone?

1 comment:

  1. sorry we didnt get to catch up babe. it'll all be fine. you don't give yourself enough credit for what you do. you're a great mom and there is no doubt about that. all will be fine in time you'll see. just hang in there! :) - ally

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