Gardens by the Bay!

Last weekend, we finally brought our little one to Gardens by the Bay! We decided that we wanted a change on scenery. Open space, nature, gardens, greens instead of the usual shopping haunts. Boy, did we do the right thing. I have to say, hand on heart, that Gardens by the Bay has now become one of my favourite places to visit in Singapore (besides the zoo)!

We started our visit at Flower Dome, which is a cool dry conservatory, to beat the sweltering heat! I am no horticulturist but i did enjoyed strolling around. The greenhouse features plants from the Mediterranean and subtropical regions and beautiful flowers in the Flower Field that is decorated for Halloween. Pumpkins aplenty! There were lots of tourists and locals but i did not feel that the dome was crowded at all. Plenty of benches and sit areas to admire the plants and in our case, feed the baby. Matthew was wide-eyed, looking around and exploring! 

We then went on to visit Cloud Forest... and oh my gosh. I thought i arrived in Pandora. Holy smokes! A huge 35 metre tall waterfall greeted us at the door and it strangely looked like it was modelled after Home Tree ( please watch Avatar if you have no idea what im referencing to)! Cloud Forest is to designed to showcase plant life from tropical highlands up to 2,000 metres above sea level and my word, it was so damn COLD! Tips for parents if you are bringing your babies: pack a blanket (i forgot) and rain cover! The waterfall was pissing down with drops of water at the entrance that we had to protect Matthew and his Mattmobile with the raincover. We also walked along the 2 walkways that gave us a nice aerial view of Cloud mountain and the surrounding views of Marina! 

There were so much more to explore but we were tired after 5 hours, just exploring the 2 conservatories. Some parts of the Gardens have not been fully constructed yet. Just as well. I would love to go back again. 

2 things i really like about Gardens by the Bay: 

1. The use of cutting edge technology in cooling the conservatories and the planned efforts in sustaining the gardens through recycled energy and water. Extremely eco. I like. 

2. It is family friendly! I love the fact that they have family lots in the carpark and lots of baby rooms! The family room that we visited in Cloud Forest was really spacious, uncrowded and clean. 2 changing stations and hot water dispenser. There is also a nursing room with a huge couch ( could seat more than 1 person) and an electrical point. 

Baby room at Cloud Forest, Gardens by the Bay

*side note: i have become a baby room fanatic. Shopping malls with baby rooms get my business! I really dont want to change diapers on the floor. 

2 great websites with reviews on baby rooms that i use when planning trips out:

http://singaporemotherhood.com/articles/2012/06/nursing-rooms-in-singapore-shopping-centres/

http://www.madpsychmum.com/p/nursing-room-review.html

A sick mommy is not a playful mommy.

I have the bloody common cold. Its so damn common that almost everyone i saw in the clinic yesterday seems to have the same symptoms. Cough cough and sneeze. My poor Matthew. Goes to infant care and expose to germs. Go home, expose to mommy. Oh woe!! What i can do as a responsible parent is to keep washing my hands with soap and wear face mask around him. Am also trying not to cuddle with him unless he screams for it.

Anyway, i went to the doctor's yesterday after dropping Matthew off. The last time i visited him was when i was probably 3-4 months pregnant with a really bad headache. After i got the clinic, the nurse informed me that he has opened another clinic and moved over there! Wow, sheng li zuo dua liao ( expanded business as they say in Hokkien)! I went over to the new clinic.

As per the normal routine for all the clinics that i have been, he asked me what was wrong etc etc. Then he looked at my past medical records....

Him: " Oh, you delivered already!"
Me: " How did you know that i was pregnant?!"
Him: " I can see the previous records!"
(I forgot that i went to the doc's for my pregnancy-triggered headache earlier in the year. Duh.)

We continued chatting for a bit about the baby (like how old, gender etc) and he asked about the caring arrangements. He pointed out that i should consider getting the yearly flu shot for Matthew when he is 6 months old since he is in infant care and that i can bring Matthew to him for consultations if he is unwell. "Shouldn't i bring the baby to a pediatrician if he is unwell since he is not yet 1 year old?" i said. "Its a misconception that a lot of people have. You can bring him here and if it warrants a visit to the pediatrician, i will definitely tell you," he said. Before i left, he also gave me tips on managing contacts with baby until i recover and how long i should expect my recovery period to be.

Yes, i know what some people might think. He is just trying to make money etc etc etc. Come to think of it, why shouldnt he? Yes, he is a doctor but he is also a businessman. He has to make money to feed himself, right? If he can provide better medical care, then he gets my dollar. I like the fact that he VOLUNTARILY provided me with info and things that i should consider (e.g flu shot that this first time mommy didnt even think about!). Most of the doctors that i've visited would need tons of  probing! Of course, theres also the plus point that he is also 5-10 mins away from Matthew's infant care center (which means we can FLY there if need be *touchwood touchwood*). Matthew's current pediatrician is located at Gleneagles and for all those who have been to the hospital/medical center, you would know that parking is a freaking nightmare there but for now, i will still go to Matthew's pediatrician for  vaccinations and health/development reviews for consistency.

Anyway, some info on Influenza if anyone is interested to know more:
http://www.moh.gov.sg/content/moh_web/home/diseases_and_conditions/i/influenza.html
http://www.hpb.gov.sg/HOPPortal/dandc-article/552

Children's day.

So, Matthew went to infant care yesterday. Ironic isnt it? Started my son with infant care on Children's day.

He is currently going thru 3 days of orientation, which means he stays there for 3 hours each day for 3 days to observe and be familiarized to the environment instead of attending the full day program right away. I suspect the orientation is designed in such a way not for the kids, but for the parents. He is my addiction so i am hoping these 3 days will help me cope with my withdrawal symptoms and stop the urge of wanting to bring him home every few minutes.

Yesterday was hard. I was trying to brace myself while we walked 2 blocks to school, thinking "Damn it, Carina! You better not cry later. This is all for the greater good,". We got there and the teachers welcomed him ( i was also glad that i went to the school a couple of times before just to get to know the teachers). I handed him over to one of the teachers, shared with them on his routines/habits, played with him for a bit and  FORCED myself to leave. As soon as i reached home, i broke into pieces. Called my husband and did the ugly CRY SOB. Kept saying " I have abandoned Matthew!" and sobbed some more. So much for trying to hold myself together.

He was just waking up from a nap when i picked him up 3 hours later. To my relief, Matthew gave me tons of smiles when he saw me. I think thats his way of consoling and reassuring me that he was fine. He came home and went about his day as normal.

Chris keeps suggesting that i venture out and spend time away from the empty house. I think i might do just that to maintain my sanity.

Spa, anyone?

I am the world's worst mom.

I am the world's worst mom. EVER.

This is how i feel right now.

The clocking is ticking. 11 hours and 20 mins more before i bring Matthew to begin his life of "institution"....infant care.

Sigh.

Chris and i made the decision to send Matthew to infant care wayyyyyyyyyyyy before he was a lentil bean in my tummy. This  has been in the works for a while. I know its coming. For the whole duration of pregnancy, i wasnt sure which hospital i want to deliver in, which PD i want, if i should attend antenatal ( i didnt) but i was very sure that i will go back to work and baby will go to infant care. End of. No fuss. No tears. Rainbows and pots of gold.

If only life is as simple as the alphabet song. As i am typing, my heart is heavy and i am trying so hard to hold myself together. The last time i felt this heart-wrenching pain was when my grandpa passed away.

The truth is i didnt have an instant connection to the baby when i first laid eyes on him. Not sure if its because  i delivered via c-section but i just didnt feel anything when i saw Matthew for the first time (except to make sure that he has 10 fingers and 10 toes). In fact, after he came home, i spent the first few weeks desperately to find the connection that every pregnancy book said i would have with my son but zilch.

One day, he smiled at me and held my finger. I fell in love. Hook, line and sinker.

I thought about being a stay home mom. Chris and i would survive on single income. But then, i dont want to just survive. I want to live and more importantly, i want Matthew to live a life filled with adventures (and in Singapore, that usually means $$$). Sad to say, Singapore is still not at the point where it will readily accept stay home moms back into the working society, or at least how i feel.

So, worst-mom-moment day tomorrow. Sigh.

Matthew, it really pains me to send you to school tomorrow. One day, i hope you will understand why we need to do so. Mommy and daddy love you very much.